


If Music be the Food of Love

by OffWhiteWarden (orphan_account)



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bar/Pub, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Food Service, Alternate Universe - Pizza Place, Alternate Universe- Cat Cafe, Alternate Universe- Cinema, Cat Cafés, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, bonus: awful puns for chapter names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-10 03:41:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4375868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/OffWhiteWarden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of short fics about one of my Femsheps and Tali, all set in separate AUs in different parts of the food industry. Because why should Coffee Shops hog the Food Industry AU market? All chapters are gonna be fluffy as heck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. She stole a Pizza my Heart

Every Saturday night, Tali orders a pizza.

It’s a stupid thing to do, not only because she can’t eat the pizza, thanks to her dextro DNA, but because she knows she will always make a fool of herself. It’s one of the few times she’s grateful for having to wear an enviro suit. At least then, the girl who always delivers her pizza won’t see her expression. Won’t see the flush on her cheeks, dilated pupils and nervous nibbling at her lip. 

One day she’ll have the courage to ask the girl out. And maybe today is that day. She pauses, looking at her omni tool, wondering if this really is a bad idea. What if she’s misreading signals? Quite possible, given her inexperience with humans. What if the girl isn’t into aliens, or women, or alien women?

Tali takes a deep breath and tries to stop panicking. She’s spent far too many credits on inedible pizza to give up. Her omni tool lights up, orange light filling up a surprisingly large portion of the small apartment. Pizza Prime - _The Best Pizza on the Citadel_ , the tagline claims- is at the top of her contacts list. Trying to ignore the churning feeling in her stomach, Tali presses the call button. 

“Hey Tali!” the voice on the other end of the comm line pipes up. “Was wondering where you were. We were taking bets on when you’d call tonight.”

Tali cringes. She knows it’s probably because she’s a regular, and not because they suspect what she’s up to. 

“Hey Joker”, she says, conscious of how on edge her voice sounds. “Could I get the usual please?”

It takes about 20 minutes for the delivery to get down to her part of the Wards, time that Tali spends pacing up and down the box-like room. And she damn near sprints to the door when she hears the bell. 

Tali wouldn’t have been shocked if somebody told her that her delivery girl was part of some modelling agency. She’s all angles, cheekbones sharp enough to cut. Her eyes are a deep green that reminds Tali of pictures she’s seen of the Attican Beta cluster. Her brows, raised in amusement, a mischievous smile pulling at the corners of her lips. 

“Nice to see you again”, she quips, and Tali can’t help but focus on her even more intensely. The uniform she’s wearing is horrendous, obscuring much of her shape, but it still somehow looks good on her. The pizza box is wrapped under one arm, her muscles slightly twitching. 

Her long purple hair- dyed, Tali assumes, because she’s never seen another human with purple hair- is tied into a ponytail. A few strands are loose, falling over her face in a way that must be incredibly irritating. Again, Tali gives thanks that she’s wearing a mask, because otherwise the girl would notice her opening and closing her mouth like a Presidium fish.

“Tali?”

“Ah, sorry. Just distracted.”

The smile gets wider and if Tali didn’t know better she’d swear she just saw her wink. “Bet you were.” Then she frowns slightly, as though she’s thinking about something. She slouches forward.

“My name’s Quinn by the way. Quinn Shepard”

Silence follows, mostly because she has no idea what to say or how to react. Eventually, she stammers out a response. “Hey Quinn. I’m Tali… But I guess you already knew that.”  
Quinn chuckles and it makes something in Tali’s chest twitch. 

_Keelah, don’t mess this up._

“So how much do I owe you?”

Quinn glances at her omni tool. “15 credits.” She looks intently at it, silently prompting Tali to use her own tool to send over the credits. Tali is aware of how heavy her breathing is as she does so. 

“Do… do you want to have my number along with that.”

There’s a pause and Tali can hear her heartbeat in the silence. 

The smile is back on Quinn’s face and it’s wider and broader. “I was wondering when you’d finally ask.”

Tali doesn’t know how to react. All she can say is, “huh?”

“It was quite obvious to be fair. I’m just surprised you kept buying non-dextro pizza for so long.”

She flinched inwardly. Great Tali, you're a frigging idiot. Even when you thought you were being sneaky and smart, everyone knew what you were doing.  
“So, um, do you want to come in? Like, properly.”

Quinn shook her head. “I’ve got a couple more deliveries to make tonight. Sorry.” She paused, then added, “I’m free tomorrow though. Apparently there’s a really nice sushi place that does dextro stuff too that just opened.”

Tali nodded, almost a little too enthusiastically. “Yeah, yeah, that sounds… really good.”

The smile is beaming by now. "Awesome! Now let me just…” she trails off, switching to the personal section in her tool. “What’s the number?”

Tali tells her, stammering it out, and Quinn gives hers in return. Tali can’t help but stare at the entry in her contacts. _She’d got there. Finally._ She wanted to say thank you, but when she looked up, Quinn was already out the door, already sitting in her vehicle, waving a hand at her. Tali couldn't help but wave back.

 _A date._ She repeated the words in her mind over and over. _She had a date._


	2. Hold me Against the Bar Tender

The first time Quinn sees her, she’s drunk and sitting alone in a club. If this were back on Earth, it’d be nearly closing time, but Quinn is convinced that the Citadel doesn’t know the meaning of the words ‘closing time’. For once, she’s glad of that. Even after a mission that goes well, Quinn loves bars. Not the upscale, classy establishments that have licenses and brand name alcohol, but the scummy, seedy ones that even C-Sec didn’t dare enter. Ones that normally that came with the benefit of bar fights. 

On the dance floor, the dancers bob and sway to the music like waves in an angry sea. The air is pungent. Incense and sweat mingle with the less obtrusive smells of lime and whiskey. Ashley, if she was here, would have called it 'character’. But Quinn isn’t in the mood for dancing and, frankly, she suspects she’d look like an idiot if she tried. Her balance is terrible and when she runs, she looks as though she’ll topple over any second. She is many things, but graceful and controlled aren’t on that list. 

Quinn sighs, looking down at the almost empty glass in her hand, the pale green liquid looking somehow miserable as she swirls the cup, wondering if it’s worth downing it and getting another drink. It’s some Asari thing, she remembers, or at least thinks she remembers. She wasn’t paying too much attention when she ordered it. Shrugging, she pulls it to her lips, taking a gulp. It’s cold and sharp as she swallows a mouthful, taking a few seconds to fade away. The aftertaste is nothing like the initial one, bitter and strong, with an undertone of some kind of tangy sweetness. Quinn shudders. She needs something to cover up the taste. Pulling herself up from the plushy seat, she heads towards the bar, glowing with neon like a boozy temple. And it’s then she sees the Quarian for the first time.

It’s hard to tell what she’s is thinking or feeling, on account of her suit. So Quinn, ashamed as she would be in any other situation to admit it, does not notice her face. What she does notice is the way her suit lies on her, clinging to her curves. If Quinn was sober, she’d question how Quarians managed to fit all the hardware needed into suits that tight. She is, however, not sober, and the only way she can react is to stop in her tracks and take a moment to think. It takes somebody shoving into her, very rudely angling their elbows into her, for her to snap out of it and get a move on. The Quarian turns her attention to Quinn as she slips past a crowd to perch on the barstool nearest her. She can feel glares on her back and momentarily wonders if she’s just claimed the Seat of Shamelessness.

“What can I get for you?”

Quinn’s mind is like a hive full of bees, constantly changing what it focuses on. And right then, all ideas of what to order are abandoned. She stammers- great Quinn, great job at looking articulate- and orders the first thing she sees as she glances at the menu. 

“A Biotic Fist Fight please.” 

There’s a pause, and Quinn feels as though there’s an eyebrow being raised under the mask. “You sure?”

“Yeah”, her voice is less slurred than she expected and it strengthens her confidence. “Yeah I’m sure.”

She watches the quarian as her drink is mixed, vodka, whiskey and bourbon along with some energy drink that Quinn has never heard of. Tupani or tupari or something like that. She’s not paying attention to the drinks, but rather the bartender herself. She holds herself in a way that Quinn’s never seen before, seeing to glide over the ground, the purple fabric – almost a perfect match for her own hair- wrapped around her shifting slightly as she arches her back over the bar to mix the ingredients. Something hitches in Quinn’s chest as she brushes her fabric hood back slightly and she looks away, embarrassed. 

“One Biotic Fist Fight”, the bartender announces with a flourish. “Should I put it on your tab?”

Even with the mask on, Quinn can see enough of her face for it to be distracting. Their eyes meet, the dark eyes behind the mask holding the promise of something that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. 

“Yeah, thanks.”

The bartender nods, and moves to serve the next customer who’d taken a seat, leaving Quinn alone with the monstrosity she’d accidentally ordered. She reaches a hand out to wrap around the rocks glass as a girl with a spiked crew cut and a tattoo peeking out on her neck sidles up to the bar beside her. The girl is staring at the bartender, wearing an expression that Quinn is pretty sure matches her own. That, and the mouthful of the weird concoction she’s just drunk, give Quinn the courage to make a move. 

She waits until the quarian is done with her next customer until she gestures for her to come over. The rocks glass is almost empty by now, and she slightly regrets drinking it so fast. 

“Could I get some water please?”

The girl laughs, a soft music laugh that makes Quinn’s skin flush even more. “Couldn’t keep going then?”

“I’m being a responsible adult.”

_“Of course.”_

Her teasing is adorable. Really adorable. And Quinn kicks herself knowing how dumb she must sound to her. The glass of water is placed down carefully in front of her and the girl pauses. 

“What?”

“I… I’ve noticed you staring at me. Which, by the way, I don’t mind.”

“Me and half of the people in this bar.” 

“…You must be mistaken.”

Quinn is sure that under the mask she’s blushing. She giggles as she leans forward across the bar, resting her chin in her hands. “Nope. I’m honestly surprised you hadn’t noticed.”

_“Oh.”_

Giving what she hopes is her best rakish smile and lifts and eyebrow. “So, can I get your name?”

“It’s Tali.”


	3. Cinema Sins

Quinn was late. She was late and Tali’s omnitool wasn’t picking up and it was even more embarrassing because Quinn’s journey to the screen consisted of about 20 meters. And she’d still messed it up. She mumbled out a stream of expletives in every language she knew, and a few she didn’t, as she pulled off her work tee, before deciding just to put her hoodie on right over her bra. Time was of the essence and she was running out of it. Her shoulder collided with a coworker’s torso- James, she suspected from the grunt on impact- as she rushed out the door, almost too fast to mutter a quick apology over her shoulder. 

She made it to the screen in time, her first steps just as the lights dimmed. Letting out a relieved sigh, Quinn scanned the seats for her date. The screen was packed, almost every seat occupied. In the front row was what appeared to be a vorcha hen night, behind them a turian and her quarian date, and, right at the back, a Krogan, seeming almost too happy to sit by herself. Quinn frowned. But no sign of Tali.

“ _Shepard_ ”, came a low hiss, and from the use of her surname Quinn knew, her gut sinking, that she was in deep shit. She looked to where the voice seemed to be coming from and noticed a rather disgruntled looking quarian dressed in purple in the third row. Quinn swallowed and walked up the stairs to that row, fighting her way past the occupants, before slipping into her seat with a thump. 

“Sorry I’m late”, she found herself mumbling. 

“I’m assuming there’s a reason you were late?” Tali’s voice was serious, like she was trying to be intimidating, and instead managing to be adorable. But there was a twinge of good humour in it as she continued. “You work here, so you better have a good excuse.”

“I was kept behind. To work on something.”

Quinn was sure that Tali was raising an eyebrow under her mask. If quarians had eyebrows, at least. “Really Quinn?”

Her shoulders dropping, Quinn lay back against the plush seat. “I… I fell asleep in the break room.”

Tali let out a laugh that sounded a lot like a snort, but she placed a hand on the armrest next to Quinn’s, fingers just shy of touching her. “Sometimes I wonder why they don’t fire you. I’d probably do that if I ran this place.”

Reaching her hand forward, Quinn closed the gap between their hands, her fingers trailing circles on Tali’s palms. Her voice was soft as she spoke. “If I’d been fired we’d never have met. What was it that you came to see and ended up being the only one in the screen?”

“A Sea With No Shore. The musical version.”

Quinn chuckled softly. “Besides, I make the best salted popcorn on the Citadel. The boss has to keep me around.”

She didn’t need to be able to see under the mask to know Tali was smiling as she wrapped her hand around Quinn’s and leaned her head against Quinn’s shoulder. Quinn gave a smile in response, though as the light dims, she is unsure if Tali can see it or not. Sliding an arm over Tali’s shoulders, she pulled her closer, as best she can with an armrest between them, Tali’s petite body warm against hers. 

“Remind me of what we’re watching.”

“Fleet and Flotilla.”

The vorcha next to Tali glared at them as she gave out a little annoyed hiss. Quinn gave her iciest glare back, teeth pulled into a snarl. She could understand annoyance if the film had started yet, but the ads were only just starting. The vorcha gave a few seconds of thought, looking intently at the two of them, before deciding to back down and look back to the screen.  
“I know this is your favourite film but you still haven’t told me what it’s about.”

“Well, it’s a romance. Between a quarian and a dashing alien. This is basically what caused my puberty…”

“So it’s Quarian Grease?”

“Eh?”

“Never mind”, Quinn paused and took a second to think. “So if it’s an old film why is it on here?”

Tali shifted in her seat to lean more towards Quinn, her shoulder pressing into her chest. It was quite uncomfortable, Quinn had to admit, but she forgot about it as Tali looked at her, face so close to Quinn’s that they’d be sharing the same air if there was no suit between them. Leaning forward, Quinn placed her lips against the mask. The Perspex was cold and she had judged the angle badly, her nose being squished in the process. But she didn’t mind. Pulling her lips away, she snaked her arm to wrap around Tali’s torso. 

“It’s super popular. So sometimes they do special screenings. Going to a screening of the musical has become an event in its own righ-”

“This is a musical?”

“Yes.”

“Holy shit. This _is_ Quarian Grease. “


	4. You're Purr-fect in my Eyes

Despite what Quinn had told her, Tali could not help but look at the animal on her lap with suspicion. It was too small, the small white body a mess of fluff, to the point where she had no idea what it actually looked like. She could just about make out a face and ears, twitching lazily, under the fur. She squirmed as it moved in her lap and Quinn laughed, pulling Tali closer to her, arm wrapped around her hip. Tali huffed. 

“Shepard”, she began, but was cut off.

“Ooh, have I done something bad”, Quinn said, her voice almost musical. “You only ever call me by my surname when I’ve done something bad.”

“Shepard-”

“I really have done something bad. Not that that’s awful. I know you’re into bad gir-”

_“Shepard.”_

Quinn stopped teasing, turning her head to look Tali in the eyes. “Oh, you actually meant it. Sorry”, she paused, glancing down at the floor sheepishly. “Sorry, what did I do?”

Tali moved her hands to her lap, intending to wrap her fingers around the animal and lift it up, before realising that was a bad idea. If the creature was weird as it was, how bad would It get if she held it in a way it didn’t like? Instead she gestured towards it.

“What is this and why did you think this”, she gestured away from the animal in her lap and towards the room. There were six others, most of them larger than the one on her lap, all taking up whatever space they please, be it on the armchair in the corner of the room, or on the tables that sat in rows in the middle. “Was a good idea?”

Quinn tried to bite back a smile and failed. “It’s a cat. We keep them as pets on Earth.”

"So these bendy animals are kept as companions?"

“Yep.”

“No wonder we think humans are crazy.”

“It won’t hurt you, Tali. Besides”, Quinn moved her arm from Tali’s hip to her shoulder, gesturing to the creature with her free hand, “that’s just a baby. His name is Bitsy.”

“You still haven’t explained why you thought this was a good idea.”

Neither of them spoke for a minute, the music coming from the speakers on the far wall, painted in eggshell blue, seeming louder in the gap. Tali didn’t understand the lyrics, even with a translator. Probably because the artist had encrypted it, like some people did when they thought that translating a work changed it too much.

Quinn sighed, interrupting the silence. “A lot of the time people find them relaxing to talk to and be around. And, given how things are going, I thought you might need to-”

“Relax?”

The corners of Quinn’s lips twitched and she looked down at the wood panelled floor, moving her arm away from Tali, placing her hands in her lap. “Yeah.”  
Tali smiled, although she knew Quinn couldn’t see it. Reaching her arm sideways, she tentatively brushed the tips of her fingers on the human’s shoulder bones. Quinn seemed to perk up, her head moving up, the movement making her purple hair bounce, although the rest of her body did not seem to follow. The reaction encouraged Tali, and she moved her arm down, to wrap around Quinn’s waist. 

Her voice was soft as she spoke. “That was a really sweet idea.”

Letting out a sigh, Quinn brushed her hand away. “I’m sorry Tali. I’m not good at this whole relationship thing. I never really had a chance, what with being in the military and then the Reapers and then the Collectors, I never had the chance or time to find somebody. And then I found you and, well I know I’m not the best girlfriend. But I try, I really do! It’s just that sometimes-”

She trailed off, and Tali decided to act on impulse. Gently lifting Bitsy from her lap, she placed him on the ground, before turning to Quinn. She moved her right hand, the one that had been brushed away, to Quinn’s left shoulder, and then her left to Quinn’s right, forcing the human to face her. Behind thick, dark lashes, Quinn’s green eyes traced the curves of her mask, wide with confusion. Tali leaned forward, just brushing her mask against Quinn’s lips for a second. 

Quinn pulled away and Tali let go of her, palms open as she struggled to find the words for an apology. 

“Sorry was that not…. was that not something you wanted.”

“No it’s”, Quinn placed her hands on the Quarian’s shoulders, mirroring their positions just a moment ago, the paused, seeming to struggle for words. Her mouth was open and her breathing heavy, and Tali suspected that if her face was bared, she’d be able to feel the human’s breath against her skin. “Did you just kiss me?”

“I tried to.”

Quinn giggled, not a delicate feminine giggle, but one that sounded hearty and genuine and vaguely like what Tali imagined a space hamster would sound like on helium. “That’s adorable. You’re adorable.”

Something in Tali’s chest twitched and she felt her breath hitch. “So are you. And these”, she hesistated, looking over her shoulder at Bitsy, who was rubbing his body up and down her legs. “Cats aren’t that bad.”

The smile on the human’s face was beaming now and she moved her hands so that her fingers tangled with her girlfriend’s. “I’m glad. Though now I think about it, what do you want to order.”

“Hmm?”

“This is a café. I didn’t just take you on a date to a room full of cats. And they have dextro options.”

 


End file.
